Parade Candy 1

What do I think about a random grab bag of topics?

I'm glad you asked!

Donald Trump

What's to say? He's a lot like that drunk buffoon in the bar who spouts off about how the Everyone-Not-White's are ruining this country and you cheer for his enthusiasm because he is so unapologetically making a spectacle of himself, but then you realize people are actually Listening to his nonsense. Worse than that, they're starting to  light torches. "Tis the mark of an educated man who can entertain a thoughtless idiot without accepting him." Isn't that how that quote goes?

Oh, what am I saying. I don't vote.

Dressing Up Animals Like People

I'll admit, my hypocritical knee-jerk reaction is that it's stupid and people who do it are stupid. But it would taste a lie to say that I haven't been thinking about what to dress George up for Halloween as. I'm thinking a burnt Cheeto, but I can already imagine the flack I'm going to catch for asking if the costume store has it. Hell, I get cock-eyed looks when I describe the kind of hotdog suit I want. That nobody has. Ever. While I believe that animals Can feel shame, I don't think they get that feeling from wearing a t-shirt. As long as it doesn't hinder their natural movements at all, then I'm okay with it. Maybe I'll dress up as a normal Cheeto so there's no question what George is. 

Baby Names

Much like coming up with ad slogans for a product is exponentially easier than coming up with the product itself, I think baby names are far too easy to blow your whimsical load on. Yes, I can say those words together in a sentence. I think, perhaps, I'm a bit old-fashioned when it comes to certain things. For instance, I think all men should dress in suspenders. My distaste for modern names isn't so much that they sound stupid. I mean, they do. It's just that parents don't put too much thought into the fact that their adorable wiggly baby "Excalibur" is going to have to One) Raise his hand when the teacher calls his name in class TWICE to make sure she read it right. and Two) Have to learn cursive X's. They are ugly and nobody likes them. Then again, I suppose if they really do stop teaching cursive in school, the kid should have no problem. At least, when writing his non-Excalibur related Nickname on his Personal Information sheet.

All this being said, I still fully intend to name my child Herbert Orange Ortega.

Money

See previous blog. 

That's all for today!

Feel free to comment with topics you'd like me to address in future

Parade Candy blogs!