K.I.D. Positive - ??Weeks??

So a funny thing happened to me after the Primus concert last week...

Let me start at the beginning.

Rose was late. That's what I call my period. My Aunt Rose. She wasn't SO late. A few days, maybe. I felt crampy and spotty, so I figured the multivitamin I'd started taking about a month prior was simply stunting my Rosey grossness. It felt like she was on the verge, I just had to hope she didn't come while I was at work.

Several more days passed and still no Rose. Nick and I were going to see Primus in concert and I dreaded the idea of Rose gushing through while I was stuck in a public restroom. I knew she'd probably come that day. I drank an entire bottle of red wine just to alleviate the pain I knew I was in for. 

The concert was the tits. Primus was the tits. Tool also played that night, but Nick and I skipped out. I'd gotten away with the night without Rose elbowing her way into my fun night out and I slept quite soundly that night. 

The next day came and STILL. No sign of Rose. The occasional cramp. The spot here and there. But that was all. It was late in the month and, for the first time, I felt worried. We bought a test and took it that night. 

Full Disclosure: I heavily considered terminating the pregnancy. Now, before you go barking at me, hear me out. Nick and I have worked very hard the last few years, clawing out way out of debt and crawling into the light of day, where we now have two reliable vehicles, steady jobs, and reasonably manageable debt. Things are tight now, but we have...HAD a plan to be mostly debt free by next year. And now that's gone. My job doesn't have paid maternity leave. I have to save ALL of my sick time, ALL of my vacation time, ALL of my personal time, and ALL of my comp days in order to have around 6 weeks full paid time off. From now until the baby is born, I Cannot Take Any Time Off. After I run those wells dry, I have short-term disability, which is 50% pay, which is better than nothing, but it's not going to cut it. 

What I Didn't want is the kid to be struggling because I am struggling. I didn't want to be so depressed and strung out that the kid suffered. I didn't want the kid's dad to fall into history's disturbing pattern of fathers who Just Aren't There. I didn't want anything less than a happy home for the kid, and for about a week, it didn't seem possible. 

After a long night of talks and prayers, we decided to have the baby and here I am. Sitting in my office. Applying for part-time jobs and hoping someone calls me back. I am hoping the lightbulb comes on and I don't feel so detached from what's happening to me. Anyways, wish me luck and forward me any job opportunities that come your way.