I write unnecessarily complex diaries and call it poetry. That's the truth. If you've ever read one and thought, "That seems like it doesn't fit. What does that mean?", it's because you're a rational person who knows nothing of my life's innards. Every word has meaning. When it looks like I'm being facetious, it's because I'm making myself chuckle, not telling a story. Why do I feel the need to address this? Because it reassures me that I will never be published. Not with this attitude,...